Sooo.. I just paid for my train ticket (no I don't have a monthly pass :/ ) and some guy speed walks past me, and almost, I repeat ALMOST ran over my foot with his suitcase. Normally he would've been served with a series of colorful words. But for some reason I held my tongue. I'm glad I did. He proceeded to make his way to the payphone. So, here I am, waiting for my train, in my normal spot, when this man starts going OFF! I look, and my train is coming so I was unable to capture the entire convo. Anywho, here's what I got! PLEASE KEEP IN MIND there are SPANISH PEOPLE ON THE PLATFORM... I mean.. for crying out loud you can hear them in the background!
"Don't worry about where I am, you'll just call the police a-and complain th-th-that you're you're being harassed by me, or-or ROBBIE's gonna call the police and then they'll say he's a lawyer and suddenly they're gonna send 8 officers like they NORMALLY do. Y-Y-You know they could d-do that may-maybe to Arabic people, maybe to Hispanic people, but they are not gonna d-d-do that t-t-to me. And-And I happen to have an education. And-A-And also, I-I happened to have had a father who-who l-loved me ver-very much, a-and uhh who left life insurance for BOTH of us, not just for you. I-I don't give a sh*t that you're 89 years old................ YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T!.. I..you-you have, you have put an order of protection against me for NOTHING! NOTHING! I did N.." ::I walk to the train::
(translated to the best of my ability)
This guy was definitely an egg short of a dozen. Whoever was on the other line had a REASON to have that order of protection. Man oh MAN! COULD YOU IMAGINE IF I WOULD'VE CURSED HIM OUT! I WOULD'VE PROBABLY GOTTEN BEAT TO DEATH! ... DEATH!!
Ladies & Gentlemen... WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN / GOLD EARTH IS THIS?!
This is NOT a cause for a fiesta! Who thinks this is cute? Seriously. Who? Let me see a show of hands, so you can be STONED! No, I'm DEAD serious! What is he, the nappy headed Sisqo of '08! Those things I assume he calls braids that are draped between his neck & gold rope look like they belong as decor for an expensive curtain. Look at his face! He is DEAD serious with this metallic gold hair. And to top off this train wreck, he has on a gold DAMN jacket. Looking like special edition aluminum foil. His hairline is on point.. but his parts look like they are caked with Dandruff and need to be scratched! Don't act like you don't know! I guess anything new to get the girlie's to drop them panties ehhKellz. It is called a "Golden Shower" right? Hence the children's melody "oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me!" IDIOT!
AWWWWWISH! A photo was submitted! Shout outs to "Nisa". LOL! Sorry if it's not too creative but that's the first thing that came to mind.
Let us call this number ALTERcation- "Meet me at the alter in your white dress", I guess in this case, the alter was located at "DAVE & BUSTERS". WTF?! Was this some type of dare? Honestly. I guess she figured she'd save her family the thousands of dollars by not having a traditional reception, and instead having celebration at Dave & Busters. Makes sense. Like a catering hall, D&B has food... drinks... servers...and in addition, GAMES!.. I guess instead of throwing a bouquet, she'll be throwing free throws. SMH! All this for tickets. After collecting about 300 of them she MIGHT be eligible for chance to receive a plastic slap on wrist thing-a-ma-bob that in all actuality, just cost her about $15.00. Real memorable lady, real memorable. At least the guy, who I'm guessing is the "Groom", had sense enough to change the eff out of his attire. IDIOTS.
LOL! I like this word. I really do. Such a professional word, with such a powerful definition. To beat severely? Also, I was watching the "ROCK OF LOVE 2" Reunion, and the winner (her name slips me) said..."disillusion". Awwww sh*t, could she possibly be one of my viewers? LOL. Yeah right. Anywho it just felt good to hear someone use the word.
Moving on... Ladies & Gents... I got an email... yes that's right.. an email. Someone submitted some material. Please view the following submitted by "CsUp": Let's call this the GO HOME DEPOT-
Okay. . So I'm in home depot with my mom. . Waiting on line to get her paint. . I look ahead and dere is dis black badmon with dreads which is okay to have. . Howeva he made his dreads into a turban. . Like. . A taliban turban. . I tried to get as close as I could without gettin caught. . But it was a tragedy.
P.s. He was badmon so not only was his dreads turban disturbing. . U couldn't understand a got damn thing comin out his mouth. . Da lady was like "HUH!?" "I'm sorry I don't understand" he got fed up and walked away! Smdh!
Well CsUp, maybe this is his version of a "doobie" (spellcheck). As for the cashier, she's lucky he walked away and didn't lambaste her a*s. Seriously.
Flavor Flav. Where do I begin? Well, for starters:
William Jonathan Drayton, Jr. (born March 16, 1959) known by his stage name Flavor Flav, is an American rapper, classically trained pianist and trombonist, television star, hype man, DJ, member of the politically-conscious hip hop group Public Enemy and a runs his own business, called the whore-house. Flavor Flav's visual trademark is an over sized clock hanging from his neck. After falling out of the public eye in former years, he has recently reappeared as a star of American reality television. He has starred in multiple VH1 programs, including Flavor of Love, and the 2007 Comedy Central Roast.
LOL! Those who follow his show, should already know the above mentioned. Minus the trombonist bid. Flav, you never cease to amaze me.
Chuck D, DJ Terminator X, Professor Griff, and Flavor Flav formed Public Enemy and released their debut album Yo! Bum Rush the Show in 1987. Flavor Flav provided vocals and occasional drum beats, as well as a comic foil to the political message of Chuck D.Some also credit Flavor Flav as a major influence in the development of the rap sidekick (often referred to as a "hype man"). Unlike later practitioners of the hype man role, Flavor Flav provided a much stronger stage presence and musical contributions. His clumsiness and hypeness was the center of attention on songs such as "Too Much Posse", "Cold Lampin' with Flavor" and "911 Is a Joke". On the group's 1998 "comeback" single -- following a four-year hiatus -- "He Got Game", the title song to a contemporaneous film by Spike Lee, Flav essentially performs a duet with Chuck D.
My personal favorites are: "My Oozy Weighs a Ton" and "Don't Believe the Hype". I distinctly remember waking up, almost on a daily to: Public Enemy, Anita Baker, and Al B. Sure to name a few. Oh man! Flavor Flav is nobody new to me. Well his name isn't. Now-a-days, my guess is that Flav is responsible for the majority of VH1's ratings. From his appearance on "Surreal Life" (spellcheck), he then ventured on to having his own reality show (not one, not two, but THREE seasons), and I Love New York (2 seasons). Oh, and let us not forget about the drama free reunions! Flav went from being a hip hop hypeman icon, to a crackhead, to being desired by chicks who are in dying need of exposure and will do any, and everything to get it. Ladies, be honest, NOBODY is there for FLAV, NOBODY! Just STOP IT. He reminds me of a burnt ant with large vocals, but you gotta love him!
Moving on, the roast. Here's a clip of what I believe is the funniest part of the show:
She's good. I've seen the roast approximately eight times, yet I still laugh at her segment. What didn't she cover? Oh yeah, the trumbonist bid. Ahh well, maybe next time. Katt Williams spoke on this roast at his comedy show last week. He was actually offended to be the host of the show and didn't realize how graphic the racial comments were until the day before the roast was taped. He even went on to say how some of Flav's kids ended up leaving the roast early, in tears. After the show Flav met up with Katt & Snoop, and basically dgaf (you should know what that means), he got paid. People are going to say what they want anyway, so why not get paid for it. That-a-boy Flav! Let them know you actually have a functioning brain somewhere in between that 2 foot clock, viking cap, and gold fronts.
Anywho. I'm done for now, but Flav came to mind. Feel free to add on.
Honestly, how can you NOT love these words. Maybe one day I'll actually write a blog and include the weekly "Verbal Candy" into a post.
S.Will, you're a charmer...right? This is all you. Oh, and yes, that's your new tag name, because I said so. BTW everyone, make sure you visit his page, http://www.shaunwill.blogspot.com/ . He's the guy who introduced me to "Blogspot". Gotta give credit where credit is due. But yeah, go to his site, you're gauranteed to laugh out loud at least four times. If not, you have no sense of humor and need to get beat with the infamous "reality stick".
UPDATE
I'm not sure if i mentioned before, but I'm actually getting a logo created for the site. I'm pretty picky. So hopefully within the next week it will be complete. HOLLER.
For those of you who don't know, "Ms. Rap Supreme" is one of VH1's new reality shows. Evidently due to the recent conviction of Remy Martin, the going deaf of Foxxy Brown, and mass confusion with Lil Kim, the female rap genre is about 3 seconds off obviation. What ever happened to Queen Penn, Rah Digga... and... and my list stops there. Well, I don't know if Khia is serious about trying to become Ms. Rap Supreme, or maybe she is currently working on a project and using this show for publicity purposes only, I guess to remind people of who she is. Well I think this was a STUPID move on her part. How low will you go? To even apply for a show that is looking for the next up and coming female artist, when your a*s already released not one, but TWO albums? That's like Tank trying out for American Idol. Why I just think of Tank, I don't know, but hopefully you catch my drift. Anywho, they had a challenge, the losing team had to "freestyle". Yo-Yo CLEARLY stated that the rhymes could NOT be previous rhymes. Here's a quick summary of Monday's (or was it Tuesday) episode:
Words of Wisdom: When making an attempt to make a point, and spelling is involved, I suggest spelling the word correctly! Could you imagine if Aritha Franklin spelled it wrong (RESPECP)? What about Queen Latifah (UNIDI)? Gwen Stafani (BAMAMAS)? I know what would happen, we would look at them as effin IDIOTS. Khia, you are no exception. I could understand if it was a signature thing you did ie: Fabolous, however Khia is not that serious. Meaning besides that one hit "My neck, My back", her beef with Trina, or those beautiful mug shots, who cares! Did you think you'd stroll up in that house and think that NOBODY would say ANYTHING about you having a rapping history? Get serious. You're an alleged "veteran in the game" with so much experience under your belt, yet you're on a reality show as a contestant with a house full of amateurs. Have you any dignity? Reality TV? Nah, I think Khia needs a reality check. On TV demanding respect. How about you respect my DAMN language and learn to spell. How can someone respect an IDIOT! It's not even like what she spit was hot. Mind you, I did mention that they said you can't spit anything that was previously written, right? Can someone please explain this:
Khia, you just upset me. Get a cot damn GRIP! ASAP
Manhattan, Manhattan. So we decided to go to the city to purchase the famous "NO B*TCH A*SNESS" shirt from the Sean John store only to discover it had sold out an hour prior to our arrival. F*CK! Maybe if we handn't walked 800 blocks in the wrong direction we would've made it! LOL! It was a nice day, so we decided to walk around a bit. Anywho, I'm losing focus. We headed back to GCT and Mr. Wockee spots the "big blue". Mind you she had to be at least 100 feet in front of us. Honest to blog (LOL), her measurements had to be (at the minimum) 38, 32, 6546465451621945644961161. Apple bottom? I think not. This b*tch takes the entire fruit basket.
Pictures taken with camera phone. Though not the clearest, you get the general idea.
oh you're not gonna BELIEVE this... An allowance of money given by a husband to his wife for private and personal expenditures.
Oh really? An allowance ehh? I wish a fool would...
Moving on... it's been a couple of days since the last blog. Well.. Friday I went to the Kat Williams comedy show at Radio City Music Hall. The actual show name slips me. The show was opened by some up and coming rap artist under Kat's (I can't remember if his name has one T or two :/) label . Then some chick from Detroit came out. They were "O.K.". Honestly that must really be hard. Nobody really paid them too much attention because we were anticipating Kat. Next some light skinned chick with blonde hair came out. She was FUNNY AS HELL! "WITH THE PRICE A GAS?" LOLOL! Hopefully it comes out on video so you can laugh at that. But Next? Next was some chick named Leslie. You might have seen her in "Repo". If not, please view below...
MAN! she was funny as HELL! In fact, she WAS the show. After her, people took naps, literally. Kat WHO?
But lets rewind it a little bit shall we. I said we were at Radio City Music Hall, please observe the following picture:
$4.75 for a DAMN hotdog. $4.75. The conversation went along the lines of
e: Excuse me!? Does that say $4.75 for a HOTDOG?
cashier: Yes Ma'am
e: :o! WTH?! You can get a whole pack of BallPark Franks WITH the buns for that. Well how much are your strawberry daquiries?
cashier: $12.00
e: :O!!! $12.00?! Is it free refills?!
cashier: No ma'am, but you get to keep the cup and all drinks come with a stirrer.
(He shows me this neon blue stirrer which you can turn on and off)
A divine imparting of knowledge; inspiration. The day wouldn't be right without some verbal candy! aaaaaooooooowwww!
What's your afflatus? Honestly if you walk up to somebody and say that, please don't be alarmed if they throw the hands! You: What's your afflatus? Them: MOFO What's YO afflatus? ::WHAP::
I do remember briefly speaking on Day 26's self-titled debut album. I listen to it. A lot. Though I love all tracks..today for some strange reason I keep replaying "This Is What It Feels Like". Perhaps because of my sexual strike. THAT'S RIGHT! My boo abstinence & I have been going for about 3.5 months now. I think we might be in love. Maybe the repetition of the song is due to the fact that, well, maybe I forgot what it feels like.
"Summer nights, on the beach, underneath the raindrops, wind blowing through your hair, THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE " Wow... a summer night hunh? That already sounds sexy. I think it must be something in the summer night air. Like father wind sprinkles a little bit of lust in it or something. On the beach... well, I'm not a big fan of the beach. Especially the water, the thought of being in it. I'm scared to DEATH of that water! Stingrays, need I say more? But I guess if it's at night, the view of the water must be incredible. I love the view/sound of water. Underneath the raindrops, damn that sounds dope. Wet bodies are sexy. Now for my hair to be wet and the wind is STILL blowing through it is kind of weird. HOW many miles per hour is that wind blowing? Now that I think about it, it sounds like they're basically implying that doing it in Florida in the middle of a hurricane is what it feels like. Great, now I'm imagining my skin stinging from that damn beach sand.
"Rose petals in the tub, listening to your favorite song, every time our bodies touch, THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE" Damn. Rose petals in the tub, and my jams are playing? That's real dope. You know what's even better, you cleaning the tub afterwards. :P!
Music. I love slow jams. Your favorite song could be playing, and then your mind just draws blank. There has been several occasions where I'd be sitting at my desk, here a tune, and just zone out. I'm no longer at my desk. I'm now a fly on the bedroom wall watching me do it. It's crazy. I could smell his naturalness (is that a word?) I get goosebumps on my neck. Right on that special spot. Then in this "day-dream" of mine, I open my eyes, and I could see his. Now I'm breathing in the same rhythm as I was then. We're nose to nose, lip to lip. I close my eyes, and I no longer hear my song. I blink, and here I sit, still at my desk, wondering why my day is going so DAMN slow.
SH*T! I don't cheat, but me & abstinence might not be as deep in love as I thought. Damn temptation is a m*tha f*cka.
(sorry for the Sarafina Remix but for some reason I'm too lazy to look for the regular version!) Easily rolling or turning; rotating.
I can get really raunchy with this one. However I’ll let your imagination grip the wheel on this one. Just know that's what it means.. k? 8;] ::sighs:: I got a little excited earlier. I finally got my first “blogger” email. E: YES! MAIL! BLOGS! YES!.
To my disappointment, it was SPAM. Some lady needed money to feed her family since her husband was killed. #1 EFF YOU for getting me enthused. OK! EFF YOU and your next of kin! I will always & forever remember my first email was some DAMN SPAM.
#2 WHO SITS AROUND AND TYPES THAT? Seriously. Like, it's not even funny. Regardless if the email was SPAM or real, the creator deserves to be stoned... IDIOT! It just hit me.. I'm going to create an "IDIOT" stamp. IDIOTS BEWARE! 'Cause I won't hesitate to use it!
If you don't know by now, I'm extremely random. This dude just popped in my head, so I googled him.
Sebastian is a lobster, not a crab with a penchant for Calypso music. He conducts King Triton's orchestra in the first scene set in Atlantica, where Ariel's sisters are singing.
But wait, it gets better!... [oooh ahhh] Sebastian has released two reggae albums for children under the Walt Disney Records label. Both of these were released on CD and audio cassette, and are well out of print. The first was a self-titled release, featuring songs from The Little Mermaid, along with covers such as Three Little Birds, and original tunes. Ariel herself appears in two tracks, along with the interstitials between tracks. The second, released in October1991 is Sebastian: Party Gras! This album consists entirely of reggae covers of classic songs such as "Iko Iko", "Octopus's Garden", "Twist and Shout", and "What a Wonderful World", as well as a few original tunes WHAT?! Is anybody else crackin the eff up? Albums? Ariel appearing on the track? WHAT?! "WHAT WOULD YA FADA SAY ABOUT DIS?" You do know what this means right? After about 16 years of drug & alcohol abuse, Fall '08 Sebastian will have his own dating reality show on VH1 Sunday nights at 8:00 PM.
Alright, f*ck Sebastian! MAY 30th, SEX & THE CITY... THE MOVIE! Please act like you know!
Enigmatic Twins- I find it highly enigmatic that these twins are so DAMN obese! What are they feeding them? Live COWS? Cot Dayum. I thought when babies are born in multiples, they're generally small. I guess I was generally WRONG! But aren't they just ADORABLE?!
It's April. Screw the showers. I received the Spring catalog for Bakers. I now am on a diet, and excersising. Why? Not because being healthy should be apart of everyone's life, oh no no no!...because I imagined all the outfits I could wear with all of the 19 pairs of shoes I plan on purchasing by June. That's right, I said 19 pairs, BY June. Peep toe pumps. I LOVE peep toe pumps. They can sexify the ugliest calf into an exotic fantasy, it's THAT serious.
FYI
Day 26! If you haven't already purchased it, I suggest you do so. Espcially if you're an R&B junky such as myself.
"How could you say stop when your body says GO!" Day 26- "Don't Fight the Feeling"
full of sexual lust; lustful; lewd; lascivious...NASTAY, NASTAY!
Libidinous, pretty nice sugar coat for horny.
So I'm out with folk, and the word "freak" comes up. Freak. What the hell is a "freak"? I personally think as you get older the word fades. It's about satisfying your partner. No? Granted, your ways of loving have... advanced over the years. Think about when you first started. You've added a thing or two in your technique. If not, have you been single for a while? Ever wonder why 8:/? Not saying relationships are ALL about sex, trust comes first. But sex eventually becomes...more....of interest (in most cases). But back to the adding a thing or two, does it make you a "freak" that you now do something you once turned your nose up at? Is a freak an individual that is wise beyond their sexual years? I guess I should've defined freak instead of libidinous, but I happen to like that word, so kick BOULDERS!
Ooooh... Ahhhh! This means, to change completely; transform, esp. in a grotesque or strange manner.
Similiar to home slice below! I bet there was a point in time when he only had one neck!
WIDE LOAD- What a catastrophe up in BBQ's! The back of his neck looks like six hams and three biscuits. I wonder if he ordered a salad. 8:/.
By the way, if and when you see faces such as 8:), 8:(, 8:/, they're not typos. The faces are simply wearing wigs. It was a joke that was started but I actaually have grown to like it, so there it is.
Also, note that the only reason why I decided to post a picture of this idiot, is because he knew the waiting area was tight, I was trying to make it to the bar to have a seat and wait for my friends to get there, and he acted as if his big a*s couldn't shift 6 of his 8 chins out of my damn way. So when I finally got around the big black mountain, I took a pick of his NECK!...IDIOT!
Don't piss me off.
On another note, I made up a new quote today! And it goes a little something like this, KICK IT! " If he wanna play games, let him play solitare". Seriously. I'm a little too grown for the Milton Bradly on a daily BS. Solitare is a pretty popular one player game.
"I never make the same mistakes, moving with a change of pace" -Nas "One Mic"
Nice word hunh? It means a freeing or a being freed from illusion or conviction; disenchantment. In layman terms, "I see the light". That is sooooo me right now. Seriously.
IDIOT IN ORANGE - Ladies & Gentlemen! This, IS A GROWN A*S MAN! WTF is that on his damn head? A hat with ears? Was I on board with a pedophile of some sort? Not cool. So not cool.
This is NOT a cause for a fiesta! Who thinks this is cute? Seriously. Who? Let me see a show of hands, so you can be STONED! No, I'm DEAD serious! What is he, the nappy headed 
Sebastian is a lobster, not a crab with a penchant for 
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