take you down.

So I'm supposed to be cleaning then getting ready for a party, but of course...I'm not. I was watching my godson's "I Get Money" video on YouTube (screw you, I watch it a lot), and I noticed on the side some Take You Down video. I clicked it. I mean after that little Ciroc episode I started realizing reactions to that song. THAT IS A HIGHLY sexual song. My Goodness. I mean, at least I can blame my actions on the Ciroc, what about the following individuals?

Please view:

The Robot is crackin' me up!!! I only watch the Take You Down part.. the rest can go to hell.



SMH!..for the ladies. Ladies? Well? SMH!


I'm not a big fan of men Hip Rolling, I'm sorry.


LMFAO! Why didn't he just remove the rug?


Look at Beavis & Blackhead! Bad enough they look like idiots, but I really wish they would remove those cheap ass shades. The lighter one has been practicing. His snake is SERIOUS! LOL!

Doesn't the lighter one look like homedude from "A Different World"?

lame.

There was a point in time when I found him cute. This is one of the lamest videos I've come across in '08. How dare he make this corny a*s video with those chapped lips! Them sh*ts need to marinate in Crisco!

:19 Really pisses me off! :19 through :24

a*shole.

Hey jerks!

I'm covering the front desk again. Lucky me, sitting my lukewarm tail on this hot a*s seat! Anywho, what an effin WEEKEND! Today was my first day back in the office (I took Tuesday as a personal day). Now I have double the work. Lucky me again. But instead of working, what am I doing? Blogging. I can't help it, I'm easily distracted. But anyway, I got wasted as planned, however I remember everything (not as planned). I have to work on my blackouts. Why? Because it's fun, It's fun to do bad things & blackout from liquor. I know it's bad but I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friends (that smoke with cigarettes). I love Latarian. I also love Greg from the new season of the Real World, he's an asshole. His facial expressions are the BEST! "Ryan.... Ryan, I'm the most logical person... it's called a f*cking warning, a f*cking disclaimer... you brought your fukkin monkey a*s in the living room 'cause naked girls make you laugh 'cause you're f*ckin STUPID". I REFUSE to miss tonights episode. REFUSE! Also later on, when I get home, I'm going to post some sound clips from a drunken cab ride. LOL! MAN!

I'm also looking to re-locate, somewhere in the Metropolitan Area is preferred, any suggestions? I'm also HIGHLY irritable. I didn't take lunch and I'm in desperate need of UNO French Fries! Like NOW.

Also, I got a phone call that f*cked up my day. Some people will never change, ever. I've spoke on this before. If not here, then on my MYSPACE Blog. But yeah... some people really need to grow the hell up. I am getting better though. 'Cause normally?.. Normally I would've taken my a*s home, ate, broke something, and then went to sleep. Massive improvement. Also, this lady gets a FIFTEEN MINUTE BREAK! Where the F*ck is she, I'm HUNGRY!!!!!! I'm bailing out of here early to get me a sandwich of some sort. Or maybe I'll make some mac & cheese.

liquor.

It's Friday. It's a Holiday Weekend. It's sunny out. & It's a DAMN SHAME I'M HEEEEEERE! I guess I'm anticipating HH (Happy Hour). The city is calling me. I'm not in the mood to run from a fight, step on a bullet, or witness a shooting tonight (gotta love the hood parties :8/ [like the new face?]), so Manhattan it is!

Maxine, gotta love her!

YES! Just got word from HR that I'm up outta this b*tch at 1:00, YES! That is less than 2 hours from now. I plan on going home, sipping something light, dancing, maybe another shower, and then.... full blown inebriation. I want to get so drunk that I.... that I... IDK... just effin WASTED! Guess that means I'll be drinking that damn CIROC. Let me tell you mofos... CIROC is NOTHING to play around with! I believe it's distilled 5xs, and is just so so SO smooth. I had a few cups about 2 weeks ago. I don't forget ANYTHING, EVER! Ask me about that night, and I remember about seven minutes of it! Even though it was DANCING only, Chris Brown's "Take You Down" came on, and was the driest orgy I've ever witnessed/participated in in my LIFE! LOL! I was dancing, but I don't remember with who. That's scary!

Also, I f*cked up. I had a total of 3 cigarettes this year :8(. I know, I know, I really did quit though, but cigarettes to being drunk, are like garnishments to drinks, it compliments :8/.

potemkin village.

An impressive facade or display that hides an undesirable fact or state; a false front.
Who made up this "word"? It's a professional word for BULLSH*T. I like it.

paul.

It's 9:16 AM, and it already feels as though I've been here (work) for hours. There's a guy I work with, we'll call him Paul. Paul is a loony, an un-certified one. So one morning Paul is riding the elevator and a woman is on her cell phone (she MUST have Verizon, 'cause Lord knows I get no kinda service in the there). Paul had the audacity to tell the woman to get off her phone. Does he know her? No. Does she take him serious? No. She simply rolls her eyes, and continues on with her conversation. Paul more aggressively tells the woman to GET OFF HER PHONE. The woman then tells the party on the other line "there's some crazy guy telling me to get off my phone", she laughs, and continues her conversation. A more livid Paul then tells her, "GET OFF THE PHONE NOW, OR I'M GONNA SING". He's ignored. "HENRY THE 8TH I AM, HENRY THE 8TH I AMMMMMMMMMMMMM" while SLAMMING his umbrella on the floor! Have you seen "Ghost"? If so then you know where that song is from. WTF does he think he is? Anywho, the woman was speechless. I was hysterical. What can you honestly say to some sh*t like that. First thing in the damn morning. Man oh man, that could NOT have been me!

Sooooo, yesterday, this fool did it again! I heard through someone in the office that he got on the elevator, another woman was on her cell phone and this time he is SCREAMING in her FACE! Not cool. So not cool.
This morning he and I are on the elevator, I actually hadn't noticed him until like the 8th floor (when I'm in my zone, I'm in my zone, I think I was jamming to Chante Moore [s/c]). Anywho, here's how the conversation went:
e: damn I should've paid attention, I would've pulled out my cellphone
p: yeah you should've, and see what would've happened
e: maybe next time, we're here. one day someone is gonna knock the sh*t outta you.
p: go ahead and let them try it, I'll KILL them in self-defense
e: well maybe if you minded your business this all could be avoided.
p: talking on a cell phone in an elevator is rude, look it up
e: who cares if someone is on the phone, it's like 2 people conversing on the elevator
p: noooo there's a difference
e: oh it's a difference because your nosey behind can't hear what the other person is saying?
p: no there's a difference because it's rude
e: well keep listening to your Ipod and mind your business
p: I'm trying to mind my business but I can't because of people on their cell phones
e: that's sad, you can't mind your OWN business because somebody is on a cell phone, does that make sense?
p: I can feel/say however I want. It's the first amendment.
e: (smiling) I'm very familiar with the first amendment, however don't pull that singing sh*t with me.

::mind you now we are in the middle of the company lobby, arguing, 7:58 AM::

p: It's in the office code of conduct, it's rude to be on a cell phone in a confined space, you're just a child you don't know.
e: I'm just a child? No you're just obnoxious and have nothing better to do with your life other than singing like a complete IDIOT because somebody is on a cell phone, ...and I'm the child, HA!
p: no what's obnoxious is people talking on a cell.......::he was talking as he walked off::

If you know me, you know I can argue you down for days, it's nothing. But who does he think he is? She was on her cell phone, so what? You're on the elevator NO MORE than 2 minutes at a time, get over it. He has the nerve to talk about the "office code of conduct" when H.R. had to hand out flyers about "minding your cube manners". This MOFO eats tuna fish with relish at least 2xs a week, or he microwaves an egg, or he eats this oatmeal that looks like dirty tap water. Anywho all of his food, STINKS. I don't play that stinking crap. I hate that. In my crib I have 2 of those Airwick automatic spray things, an air freshener for the bathroom, one of those heat the oil thing-a-ma-bobs, and I keep a nice supply of Febreeze. I don't play. Anywho the eating area is not too far from my department, meaning I have front row seats to the funk. Did I mention I don't play that? 'Cause I don't. Meet my best friend of the office, and Paul's worst nightmare, OUST. That's right, when he brings that foul smellin' sh*t in my department, I IMMEDIATELY pull out my weapon of defense. He hates me for that, & says I'm poisoning his food. Well.. idgaf.

Just to give you insight on the type of person he is, one time we were talking about strep throat and how painful it is. Here HE goes: "strep throat, MAN, it feels like you swallowed a thousand razor blades. MAN, I'd rather have the CLAP!" ...excuse me...WHAT? You'd rather have an STD than Strep Throat? You know what? What ever floats your boat Paul, whatever floats your boat.

Another occasion, we were talking about telling older people that they are forgetting things. I know, I know, who does that? Anywho he goes on to say how you never tell an older person they're forgetting things, especially women. "Man, I told my mother that she was forgetting things and BOY did she let me have it, I felt like raw meat in a Lion's Den.... I would've rather sat on a firecracker." ...excuse me.. WHAT? You'd rather sit on a DAMN firecracker? Who even thinks of some old bogus BS like that? Paul, that's who. SMGDMFH.

satc.

What kind of fan would I be if I didn't have one of these SOMEWHERE on my page. Ladiesssss!!!! Next FRIDAY!!! Stilettos & Cosmos! :]. Yes I took a half vacation day Friday. I love the show, I'm gonna love the movie, and I'm gonna love the great time I'm gonna have with my girls :]! I heard a leak about the movie though, & I'm pissed if it's true. But hey. I'm not gonna spoil it, be easy. Anywho, enjoy :].

Oh, & I went to the site (www.sexandthecitymovie.com) and it says the dude for me.. is Steve... but why do I end up with the "Mr. Big" guys? hmmm?

obtrude.

to thrust, push out.

;]

logo.

awwww ish! People of the general public, it's complete. I like it. For Real. I'm serious. I love it. Observe.

::side bar:: I'm GROOVIN' right now to this song! Damn! Those who know me, know this is already on my MYSPACE page, in the MP3, and my default ringtone. No, I don't play.

Whatchu think? Don't lie to me. I don't like liars.

Tirade

A long angry speech; a violent denunciation; a prolonged outburst full of censure or abuse.

That one was fairly easy. Hey have you people been using the words? I'm TRYING to bring the cursing down a notch, but tirades always include four letter words. MAN! I'm getting better though. Trust me I am.

jabbawockeez.

I'll NEVER get tired of this!

werd.

So I'm covering the reception desk and felt the need to type. You'd think I'd do something productive being that all time sheets were due YESTERDAY! SMH! I only have one left. Anywho, I'm in the mood for a sex on the beach, a newport, a back rub, some slow jams, and a nice view. But no. I'm here. It's raining, and I need a pedicure. A french one. I feel the urge to talk about shit that's going on right now in my life, but nah... I'm good. I'll let it be. Sh*t is just weird right now. Too weird. Who knows I might blog about it later, but honestly right now, idk. I'll leave it alone. Also I don't like covering for the afternoon receptionist. It might sound mean and all, but she's up there in age, and every time I sit in the chair, it's mad hot. All I picture is her farting up on this sh*t mad times. Don't laugh, 'cause it's not funny.

k she' s back.

e.

fetter.

anything that confines or restraints.
Naturally one might think of a straight jacket or handcuffs. Not I. I thought of self. The only thing that can truly confine/restrain you, is you. One of the many challenges of life is pushing it to the limit. I screwed myself out of a couple of opportunities by second guessing myself. That sh*t sucks. That was then, this is now. See if it happnes again.

sleep.

I have a habit of taking pictures. Unfortunately, I broke my 4th camera and just feel as though purchasing another might indeed be a bad investment. The sad part is, I had insurance on all my cameras except the last one, and allegedly the insurance didn't cover the damage. How was I supposed to know I was gonna drop it? I drink. The last one however just gave up on me. Just stopped working. Insurance covered that, but after previously wasting money on insurance, I opted out. In conclusion, I was screwed. Anywho, my curve has a camera. Not as good as the real thing, but it'll do.

Moving on, people sleeping... it cracks me up. It's the nodding, I find it hilarious. One day somebody is gonna beat me up! Until then...

Courtney Love in the FLESH! LOL. This is actually a co-worker of mine, STONED after the Holiday Party.

I don't have a name for him. I was just sitting next to him on the metro, and he was OUT.

& his friends continued to have their conversation about nothing.

Up in GCT...Pimpin'!

Now homedude below? He definitely supports the fact I need a camera that records! I was on my way to an interview when I peeped this Snorlax. He was SERIOUS with his. It was nodding to the tenth power. Nodding, rocking, swaying & snoring.

cavil.

to find fault without good reason.
LOL! One of the many reasons why I'm socialedisturbed. Oh, & just to keep you guys updated, I've purchased a total of 6 pairs of shoes and... the logo... garbahhhhge... I caviled it. A new one is in the making.
HOLLER.
e.

elNO.

So this is what it has come to ehh? Poor Elmo, Derrick is NOT gonna like this!




..and lastly... L!M!F!A!O!... I AM CRACKING UP!!!!!!!!!!

nv.

What? This guy is FUNNY! I'm sorry to all the homophobes (spellcheck), but I luv this guy! He has several...interesting videos... By all means feel free to view his page. ESPECIALLY the "HOW TO" videos... LAWD! These are the ones that really crack me up though.

owned.

I was watching a whole bunch of YOUTUBE fighting videos, and I stumbled across this. I laughed, outloud.

contrite.

Deeply affected with grief and regret for having done wrong.

That's a pretty interesting word that we ALL can relate to. Well, the few of us left that still have a SOUL! You'd be surprised. Anywho, it's been said that your not supposed to regret anything, because your experiences make you who you are. But have you ever did something so wrong, so stupid, so...so not you?...That you honestly just wish you could erase from your memory? I have quiet a few of those instances. Some instances you honestly can NOT learn from, you simply wish you hadn't been so stupid, and if you knew then...what you know now, you'd save yourself so much time and energy. Do you sometimes think how your life would be, had you NOT_________?
Regret. It's real, & it's ok.

they need pin money.

Never in LIFE!...LIFE!

$

Yes. My Godson. He gets money! LOL!

blah.

Push play, and groove with me...


Damn. I know, I know, I f*ck*d up. I haven't blogged in ages. Did you miss me? I know you did! :) Listen, between work, work, shopping, and drinking, something had to give. Now I sit here 11:52 PM with so much to say that I'm stuck on STUPID!

Let me start off by saying, I'm a bartender part time. Or should I now say, an aspiring bartender. I FINALLY landed a "gig". The location was beyond perfect, but the organization... HORRIBLE. Let me give you a brief intro of what happened. The "grand opening" for this spot was a Saturday. An African actor named Van Vicker was premiering his new movie "Friday Night" or something like that. Allegedly he's huge in Africa. I happen to be a PROUD American, and could give a f*ckl*ss about somebodies cot damn Van Vicker... ok? Let me just put that out there. Anyway, I started work on a Tuesday I think. No customers. Wednesday, no customers. Thursday, people came alrighty, THE POLICE! The Police did a random inspection and noticed that several items that should've been posted, weren't. So instead of me leaving at a scheduled 12:00 AM, my a*s was stuck up in that sh*t until 1:30 AM. 1:30 A!M! I had work in the morning, and did NOT appreciate that BS! Ok? Instead of me typing the entire story, please enjoy the bickering (click the d*mn link). My name is "Truth" :).

http://www.vanvickerlive.com/newsdetails.asp?id=30&cat_id=24

I hope you at least chuckled, because I sure did. Observe the bar:

From a quick glance this might actually look like a normal top shelf. Look closer, focus baby. Starting from the left... "Sunkist, Gingerale, Pepsi, Rootbeer.." Catch my DAMN drift. A juice bar! A friggin juice bar, NO LIQUOR! WHO IS TIPPIN FOR A $2.00 CUP OF SODA!... NOBODY! After about 2 hours worth of BS, Mr. Vickers FATASS manager eating 300 peanuts and spilling them on the bar, I grabbed my coat, left! I LEFT. But you do know I didn't leave silently. A fan calls the bar asking for directions..well..."take the Maj....no..don't take ANYTHING! The cops are about to shut this place down! This is ghe-tto! It's $20.00 to get in, they're selling chicken wings for $1.00 and there is NO LIQUOR! I quit so somebody else is gonna have to tell you how to get here!" I walked to the front (where the cops were... again! 4th time that week) and shouted "HE'S A CRIMNIAL, EVERYBODY WORKING HERE IS OFF THE BOOKS!" LMAO! I know, that was unprofessional. But you know what, I turned down an interview with Mars 2112 for that B!S! Now I have to live with the "what if"! Damnit!

On another note.... dun dun dunnnnnn...

...my logo! I must say, at first I was a little iffy... but I kept staring at it... I love it... seriously.. shout outs to "Obnoxious Designs". Maybe one day I'll link his myspace when he decides to send it to me. I'm too lazy to go looking for it. By the way, this blog has taken almost an hour to write. Sex & The City was on, and now Will & Grace is, and it's kind of hard to focus.

Oh sh*t, verbal candy... Fustian - An inflated style of writing or speech, pompous or pretentious language. I like that. Hey I hope you people are using the words!

Anywho, I'm kind of tired, so maybe I should go to bed before I'm an hour late for work tomorrow, again :/.