whoa.

damn.
i ain't been on here in a minute.
i came on here to blog a bit, but i got so caught up in reading previous entries... & they made me smile (plus twitter makes it hard to blog, but i think ima get back into the swangathangs).
like... damn. i had to put myself in my own shoes (if that makes any sense). i gave mySELF a shoulder shaking, & it feels GOOD. Real damn good.

*sidebar* according to this loud ass conversation, somebody drank Cathy's milk. "keep collecting unemployment loser, get out of the house or i'm calling the cops" smdh. inside voice please & thanks.

i love who i've grown to become. there's always room for improvement, but the process as a whole, is beautiful. it just feels right & i like it.

relationships.

Im Okay - Chrisette Michele

push play, THANKS!

ain't shit perfect, i think we call can attest to this.
let us rewind it a bit shall we?.. five years ago, had u imagined you'd be where you're at relationship wise? "is you happy?" ::t.i. voice::

my take on the whole shit is, that tolerance levels are set too high, too much shit gets ignored. when this happens, a comfort level is created. now how do you correct shit when someone is comfortable without shit makin a turn for the worst?

another thing that fucks us up are excuses. not even necessarily FROM our partner. WE get so caught up in "la-la land" that WE create the excuse FOR them.

when is enough, enough? what does it take for us to finally let go?
cheating?.. been there.. done that.
lying? .. PAH! .. NEXT
disrespect?.. oh this counts?
sadly those are 3 solid, commonly ignored, grounds for dismissal. If you constantly have to weigh the good with the bad, FUCK IT. It ain't worth it. The longer you stick around, the harder it is to move on. & when you FINALLY move on, it's THAT much harder to actually open up for the next one. no bueno.

here's a letter i wrote to some1, if it helps any:

hey *!# .
i read your status message, and i just wanted to say that Karma plays
it's position. If not today, if not tomorrow, then one day. I know what you're
going through in the sense of someone taking your kindness for a weakness and
basically just screwing you over. i've been there, just not as deep as you. I
even went so low as to tell him something along the lines of " i cant understand
why my grandfather who was a good loving whole-hearted man was taken from me, but your bitchass is still here living the good life."i mean.. there were more
curses and i hope you dies in there... but that was the basic message. sometimes
i (im sure you too) miss the SHIT outta him (the ex).. but it's an emotion that
will quickly pass. everyone deserves someone that will make them happy without
makin them cry 5x before that. a relationship and love is supposed to beautiful.
granted.. EVERY relationship has it's problems.. and if anything was picture
perfect we wouldn't appreciate it.. even the couples that have been together for
50 and 60 years went through shit.. they WORKED to get to where they are... so
even though every relationship has it's problems u just gotta make sure that ur
partner is willing to weather through the storm with you.. if not.. then let
them go and do what you can to just smile, and be glad that you're out of that
emotional rollercoaster. instead of wishing karma would kick him right in his
ass.. just smile and realize that he will NEVER find anybody like you.. EVER...
that's Karma enough.
i love you!
-e.

a bad relationship is exhausting. here's an equation that Icreated & learned to live by "ericKa>this". & though it feels like your efforts have been wasted, in the end it was a learning experience that has NO CHOICE but to make you stronger. At the end of the day, make sure you're happy, that's it.

050709.

HAPPY BDAY LOUISE!!! :)))))))))))))))))))))
im pissed though.
this rain is stupid.
i better have a kyte.
i'm not in the mood.
people need to stop letting 8lbs of spit accumlate in the corner of their COT Damn MOUTH.
mother's day... PAH!.. more like favorite auntie's day/ grandmother's day. darlene gets nada.
i wanna smoke/drink with a nigga i wont see for a about 28 days.
28 days.. damn.. i remember when the count down was 152. now look!
man!
i ain't stressin cause there definately will be better days, but today? i'm on wits end & i pity the fool that contributes to these unwanted emotions.
i'm serious.
anyday but today.
one day i'll get back to my normal bloggin, but i aint feelin it right now.

i hate globaltellink. just putting that out there.

yeah so.

i'm bored.
i have work to do, yet & still i find myself on every social networking site, seeking an entertainment/comical fix. this is sad. this can't be life. here it is monday, and i'm wishing it was friday, for what? the weekend is too damn fast. the work to chill ratio is fuct up .. 5:2.. almost as fuct up as taxes.
but i aint gettin into alladat (yes i did).
the weekend was cool. didn't get too fuct up, & i got the chance to be the ear for once. i gave advice... FROM EXPERIENCE...PAH.. who'da thought.
i think now i'm more grounded than ever. not saying i had an epiphany of some sort, i'm just saying i've been through enough to not take shit as seriously as i should.
it is what it is & i am who i am. respect it or leave it.

you know what..

if i pressed "1" for english, ytf is this automated service speaking in both english AND spanish. respect my damn decision.

idek.

Knock You Down feat Kanye West & Ne-Yo - Keri Hilson
push play idiot. not sure how long this has been out, i heard it last night for the first time and fell in love. the beat is wicked.
i need sleep. i've been drinking all week and plan on drinking later. my apartment, like my hair, is a complete WRECK! no i will not post the photos. my room aka storage is the ABSOLUTE worst! it's a shame & a disgrace. clothes and shoes all over. but DAMN it sure does smell good.

shout out to bebe zahara benet

(sc), the winner of rupaul's reality show DRAGRACE. eff u, the show was pretty good. all the guys (minus rebecca glasscock were dope). http://www.bebezaharabenet.com/

below is tigerlily. the runner up in "glam god", the reality show hosted by vivica fox... which confuses me.. but hey.. if lil mama can be a judge on america's best dance crew, then i guess anything is possible. shit they might as well have put lil mama as the host with her horid sense of fashion. anywho.. tigerlily did fuck up one outfit in the season finale, however i believe she should have on. if you're interested in viewing the winner and his platinum fronts .. google him biotch cuz i aint posting his pic. indashio.

my girl frenchy!

how could you not love her? vh1 is dead wrong. not only for the captions they post while she's speaking, but for this:

About Me
IM WORKING ON NEW VH1 TV SHOW A LOT OF SURPRISE COMING SOON***Im from Paris ,France***I live in Usa for 5 years*I Exotic dancer,Personal trainer,model,host....I ve been living and danced all over Usa ...I lived in Miami Miami Los angeles, las Vegas and Nyc. You have seen me on as Howard Stern tv, Criss Angel mind freak, Dr. 90210, Playboy Tv,and some magazines. You can buy my Adult dvd Only on my web site,www.clubangeliquemorgan.com* Im also shooting for motion picture movie now..I dont shoot porn nomore only fews dvd are avilable.. As you know I like quality and not quantity**My busy work dont allow me to date so going on show to meet Bret Is awesome opportunities to meet him, and Im so exited and cant wait to have fun with him!!He is so hooottt!!Im also Vegetarian for 15 years.I think its cruel to kill animal. I aspire to do more Tv reality show, hosting event, doing radio... and also I will host some party in club events all over the country so stay tuned!! I may be in our town anytime soon** On my times off, I love to go shopping, spa, traveling, fine dinner, going to movies, skiing, working out, going to the beach.

http://community.vh1.com/profile/ilovemoney_frenchy

dead wrong. why wasn't this professionally proofread?

& now she's getting a show too?! TF?!
i could go on but i got shit to do. i sneak on later.
carry on.

leave my amber ALONE!

first of all. i love amber m. idc if you disagree. i love her. from her ditziness to her smartass mouth, i love her.
last night?.. was riDICulous. i've lost so much respect for tiff on so many different levels. the ambers do pop shit. one more than the other, but so does the fab 5. these chix were on an all expense paid for vacay, and had nothing better to do than to fight?
tiff all snot-nosed making a movie outside the club because that ass got thrown out? and then demanded an apology? lmao! who do you think you are? seriously! amber did the RIGHT thing.. just cuz these idiots wanna get pissed because they either didn't win a bathing suit contest, got thrown out for ice, didn't get an apology for a friend, or are missing they're (60 year old) signifigant other.. doesn't mean i have to spoil my good time. FUCK YALL!... amber got it in on the the pole thingy.

of course she comes out. they're mad & take it out on her. cuz they have nothing better to do.
Boston- the "boxer" pulls her hair.. for real though? a boxer?...pulling hair? have u ever heard of some shit like that in your life? ailea looney ass, who in all actuality instogated the whole fight, joins in with the hair pulling. sarah played it cool.. i'm starting to like sarah. though she talks shit too.. it's not on the same level as the rest of anybody in that damn house.

i'm sorry if i get all over the place but i'm trying to get all my thoughts out. i lost respect for tiff ever since that "chi-town BITCH" stunt. gimme a break .. ur standin on a limo throwin up C's, when that ass coulda been right down there doin what u had to do ...IF you were serious about wanting to get in homegirls ass... if not, she played her cards right. then did u see in the last episode when she clocked home girl with her purse?.. no questions asked.... smh..she ain't even go that hard on kayla (though i believe kayla is scared of her)! now amber m. i SAW that sneak punch.. that lil sneak uppercut.. RIGHT before amber fell. she needs to be ashamed.

i don't blame amber for taking off her shoe.. wtf else was she supposed to do.. it's not like the other amber was helping her. since when are there rules in a bitch ass catfight? im confused.

how could you NOT love this face?

u gotta admit. the chick has heart. she OPENED the door for kayla when they had their dispute! "i'm so impressed compton" lmao! i mean i can go on & on about this... & i have... & i shall continue to do so on different networking sites.

BOSTON NEEDS TO GO!

floetry.

If I Was A Bird - Floetry

so i'm here updating the company website. i know this is literally a 3 week project. if it weren't for imeem i wouldn't survive. too bad floetry broke up. i have a few pix to post. uncle marvin is back at! lol. i'll try to sneak sumthin in at lunch. as always, no promises.

well now that i have ur attention.. does anybody wanna sponsor a trip? a trip for me to an island.. just for a weekend. just a chill ass weekend... you can come along.. so long as you don't piss me off. it's a good investment. i need to clear my head. for reals ::cocktail voice::.

ps. i love ray-j's show. just putting that out there..i'm not feelin' the real world brooklyn... what's Q's shit about? and Brian is always screaming or getting emotional (MTB4). Willie is STILL FOINE!... and i CAN'T WAIT for tonight's episode of Bad Girls Club there's a dude i work with who looks JUST like Kevin.. also... WHO CARES if Prancer and Cali have an alliance... saphyri (sc) and buckwild obviously do... so what's the big effin deal.

yes. i watch too much reality tv. sue me.

idiot me.

Black dog - Led Zeppelin

so yesterday a group of us went out to city island and some local bars in celebration of the QOTH's (Queen of the Hood) birthday...


hey, she TOLD me to post that pic..(yn)... anywho.. i asked amy (the bartender) for a greygoose and cranberry. when i get my drink there's no hint of red in it. anywhere. here goes the convo:

Me Amy

ummm.. wth is this?

'goose and redbull... right?

noooo i sd cranberry

ohhh im sry baby...

nah nah it's cool.. but can u just top it with some cranberry juice

::she tops it::

i drink it.. mind u i've NEVER had a damn redbull in my life. i actually convinced myself to never drink one. just like coffee.. YUCK. anywho.. i down it.. about 3 or 4 of 'em.. shits were reallllly realllly good!


in conclusion... i was drunk.. and awake.. until 5:00 this GD MORNING!!!! by the time i shut my eyes my damn alarm was going off.. i snoozed it about 5 times... but as previously stated, i started a new job. great. i'm litterally yawning every 2 minutes. my shower was painful. the water hitting my eyes could've been mistaken for ACID! Good GAWD!

i planned on going home and sleeping until sunday.. however tiff's bday weekend is far from over... great. maybe sunday i'll get some shuteye. i felt you needed to know that.

thank goodness for led zeppelin...

carry on idiots.

socialize.

Water - Lauryn Hill

it depends. sometimes i'm in the mood to.. more often not. hence the damn name. my moods change more than ya mama's draws. i just don't feel like being pissed off, but i'm often lead to believe the worlds gets a kick out of my misery. but a social butterfly?...nah. well.. occasionally.. idfk. viewer discretion is advised & proceed with extreme f*ckin caution. a lil incident just happened where i can see in my peripheral that someone was eyeballing me. i ignored. but after about 6 seconds.. which in all actuality seems about 8 years i acknowledged the presence and introduced myself. was that the professional way to go about things? eyeballing? just walk your raggedy ass over and say hello. idiot. hey i don't choose to be pessimistic. it comes naturally. me being nice is going against the grain. do u know how difficult that is? but i'm up for the challenge...occasionally.. i guess.

i don't really keep up with "lent" but almost the entire office is... so i guess i'll roll with the Catholic punches... correct me if i'm wrong, you're supposed to quit something for 40 days right? well.. lets see, i already quit

• smoking.. for real this time
• :x
• initially reacting with emotion

what's left?..you know what? lets see if i can be:

• punctual for EVERYTHING
• a non-procrastinator
• healthier... maybe jogging?

who knows what'll come of this. what i do know is that this is one of my favorite L.Hill songs EVER! if you can't vibe with it, it just means u suck & have no taste in music. your bad not mine.

hey by the way... 99 days.. ::sigh:: sanity.

anywho, carry on.

bumba blah.

Before You Walk Out Of My Life - Monica
fuck all the bullshit, just hit play & read.
man.
i have so much to say that if i tried to get it all out in one post, it wouldn't make any sense (like it ever does).
this recession is fuct up; can we say peculation?..jk (yn)
people are idiots.
karma is real.
100!
i have so many GD pix to talk shit about.
& most importantly.. you suck.

if you didn't know, most likely you didn't, i started my new job yesterday. so far so bueno. the people are cool. it's just taking some getting used to. i loooooooved ***. but thanks to the recession, i was let go and surviving off of unemployment. something is better than nothing though. but damn. i have a lifestyle to maintain (sounds posh but it's FAR from it) and the income i was receiving these last couple of weeks took me out of my element. & me nah like dat.

also.. this song has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING.. it just came on imeem. idkw i'd do without imeem. it's THAT serious.

anywho. i'll try to sneak in a few posts throughout the the day. no promises tho. u no like?.. bite me!

i'm back... bitches! this is the amber show... doop doo da doo da doo! :)

e, myself, & ?

SANG IT B!

yo i been good. i'm telling y'all, '09 is gonna be dope. i made changes. & i been sticking to my guns. talkin' to sum1 is better than i thought. i mean, i've spoken occasionally, but to actually sit down and be like.. "LOOK.. yadda yadda.." it relieves a lot of effin stress. & u know what, 08 was FULL of BULLSHIT... FULL OF IT!.. but shit could ALWAYS be worse. & that's exactly what i tell myself when i feel the urge to change my number/email/delete my myspace/ or reset my blackberry to factory settings. ya know? i mean that doesn't mean i'm gonna ignore my situation, but .. idk.. ima be aiight; regardless.

oh & don't get it twisted. i did my fair share of shit. listening to another instead of using my better judgement ended up fuckin me up. that's my fault; whatever. i just should've communicated better, but unfortunately i was blinded and put trust in wrong & well... look damnit, a whole buncha he said she said bullshit. i just ended up confused, & disappointed.. in myself, 'cause i know/knew better ESP. from past experiences.

you live & you learn right? right. maybe one day shit could get rectified. well... at least.. idk... maybe it's best left alone. if mufos don't know the difference between right & wrong by now... will they ever? i ain't stickin around to find out. there's sumthin called life that i wanna live... so in the mean time.. i shall "party all the time, party all the time" ;).

whew.. that felt good. carry on.

javier.

one day i saw a mouse. i'm thinking... ok.. it happens u know?.. its gettin cold, & the lil bastards go where the heat/food is. well i don't cook. so unless mice eat cotton, leather, paper, or rubber, I'm not sure how they would survive in my apartment. another day, i saw a mouse. okaaaaaaaaay, lil home ain't get the memo that unfortunately e has no food. another day, a mouse. OH HELL NO! ENOUGH! the the lil bastard had the NERVE to show his face while i had company. lol. nobody jumped [besides Yak @ the fake one! LOL]. anywho. they're smart enough to jump over the traps. hell. i even put a liiiiiiiiiil piece of cheese in the middle of a trap, came home, cheese was gone, and the trap was empty. word? someone put me on to the "flat traps" if you will. i put the traps down ehhhhh i'll say 6:30/7 & woke up to the sound of squeaking. not one, but TWO mice, on two separate traps! ohhh shit! ok.. but who is gonna pick them up? im serious. anywho. i went to work. came home. the ban picked em up. started watching "the way it is" and google hears squeaking. so im thinking since my computer is signed on, that was some1's log on/off sound. ENN. WRONGO. mouse #3. hence http://www.socialedisturbed.com/2008/12/when-animals-attack.html#links . THREE THOUGH? the FUCK?! ok. next day. go to work. come home. BAM! #4! now u know. i cursed poor Javier (the super) OUT! wtf is this?! The building doesn't allow pets because they provide them? i'm not feelin this! Ghetto ass Tiff suggested i call the building department on their asses! Javier was supposed to come 2 Sundays ago to fix this shit! WHERE are they coming from? HOW are they surviving? i had to get that shit outta there..BY MYSELF. so i tried to film it.

BAD IDEA! that thing put up the FIGHT of its LIFE! that wigglin shit scared the living daylights outta me! watch close. that mufo was WIGGLIN! HARD! after about 40 minutes worth of phone calls/texts.. i had no choice but to build up the strength to get this beast up outta my crib. i ended up tossing it out of the window. classy. i know. anywho saturday Javier came. we searched the ENTIRE apartment. not ONE hole. not even behind the stove! THA FUCK?! and the space under the main entrance isn't thick enough for a mouse... "allegedly". i was having cabinet door issues and asked Javier to fix that... and BOOM! under the sink waaaaaaaay in the back... was a hole. a small hole. with white chips from the wall.. and brown turds from their ass surrounding it. So he's fixing the gateway from hell and i noticed... he didn't have on any draws. soo.....

yes. i'm stupid. we've established this.

i don't make this shit up.

the end.

just thinkin.

2008 is over. it's like what... 45 days left (give or take)? it started off pretty decent, & ending pretty shitty.

as such is life.

one thing i have learned, is that there's a consequence for everything that makes you smile.
:) spoken like a true pessimist.

e, you need to work on actually givin' a f*ck. i'm getting better. I AM! i haven't changed my number in months, i no longer walk home from events, my apartment is actually looking AND feeling like a home, and my credit score is going up! ollerhay!
other parts of me, more specifically my attitude need working on. i just don't feel like it. change? for what? seems as though nobody else is. so i'm bettering myself for ya('ll) dumbass(es) to stick to your ignorant ass ways?

ok.. now that i thought about it, that should be more of a reason to perfect me. ahhhhhh (middle finger).

no i don't walk around smiling like a big dumb dick. for what? & when i see people who do that, all i can think is..."the fuck u so damn happy about? big idiot bitch."

shoutouts to the pirates robbing ships! pretty damn gully if you ask me. i never knew they really existed. it's actually kind of funny. i mean it's not but it is. it's a recession, do you blame them?

i live in a community where i'm surrounded by idiots. i'm serious. you wouldn't understand unless you resided here too."i want outta this FUCKED up town"...

fucka resolution. i just need to stick to my guns. so far, so fukkin good.

i have some pretty funny pictures that i don't feel like posting. maybe later. as for now i think i'll surf and comment a few blogs up, fantasize, drink some water and maybe do a little work. oh yeah this week i'm trying to drink water and hot chocolate ONLY. well.. minus Thursday! sheeeeit!

carry on.

change is here.

:/ other ppl do it. PUSH IT!

As you know, I wasn't as active as I should have been with the Presidential Election. I actually became interested... I'd say about a month ago. I voted Obama. Why? NOT because he's black, but for what he stands for. I watched 2 debates, did my own personal research, and read the chain emails regarding his & McCain's personal life and educational background! LOL.

Anywho feel free to do your research:

http://www.barackobama.com/

more specifically:

• http://www.barackobama.com/issues/economy/
• http://www.barackobama.com/issues/healthcare/
• http://www.barackobama.com/taxes/
• http://origin.barackobama.com/issues/foreign_policy/

Sounds good to me! Plus when Obama speaks, I believe. When McCain spoke I was waiting for him to croak. Sad, but honest. It's just disheartening when you receive text messages about punching the first white person in the face for Obama, or hearing someone say how mad the "white man" is that he's in office. Remember, we're a minority. Meaning white people had to vote for him in order to be elected. Did you not see the crowd of support? JAM PACKED with every race in the book. Also, you can't get mad when you see someone of color supporting McCain http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/30825819.html . Why not? It's his business/choice. Let the idiot live.

Man oh Man! Look how far we've come! Look at the direction that we're heading. We as in we the people. We came TOGETHER and did what was once thought the impossible.

:)

PS... The Obama girl needs to sit the f*ck down!... NOW!... I saw on the news this AM she wants a personal invite to the inauguration for her "support" for Obama. Look at this SH*T!

bitch plz, you ain't poppin.

dear summer,

Just shutup and push play.

Dear Summer:

What were your intentions? Seriously. I must've done something pretty darn f*cked up in a previous lifetime for me to experience all this bullshit I encountered during your time. I thought summer was the time to kick your feet up & relax, go on vacation, go bungee jumping, drink lemonade, cookouts, mosquito bites, water rides, shit the very smell of summer is just supposed to just.... relax you. Instead you've given me shootouts, homicides, heartbreak, flat tires, & a tornado. Obviously there are more turmoils, but those are just to name a few.

Friend to Season, Summer, you're falling off. You should know me by now. I loathe idiots. Yet & still you some how find a way for me to interact with them. Granted, I can be somewhat ..difficult at times. My attitude (at times), my comments, my punctuality (rarely ;) ), my mood swings (excuse me I've been getting better)... they can rub someone the wrong way... but my primary intentions are harmless... just to live life and be happy. For some reason, I believe, you went out of your damn way to piss me the fuck off any and every way possible. Shit. Why?

I'm getting older. Everyday is a blessing, but what does getting older really mean? Absolutely nothing. It simply means people expect more and give less. That's fine.. I guess. Though I really don't expect shit from anybody. Our previous years together should already define why. But why do people expect so much out of me? What kind of fuckin' aura am I giving off? Please advise so I don't run into the same problem in the fall (my n*gga ::American Gangster Voice::).

I really tried being nice to people. That's huge, & you know this. Evil E was put to rest for a bit. Why did people take advantage of that? Is it my destiny to be bitter? I mean damn. I don't want to be angry all the time, I'm not miserable. But you sure as hell tried to make this year. You know what... I can't even blame you on that one... I'll take the blame. I guess me trying to find myself, attempting to change a bit, ignoring certain things, just ends up with me looking like a fool. I am who I am, & my bad for trying trying to alter me. It won't happen again. But what about others? Since when is everyone so "important". What goes on? Since when did everyone become so confident/rich/and better than others. Shit. Braggers. OMG. Why do they exist? If I had a nickel for every time I seen/heard someone bragging...matter fact, that was my nickel truck that flipped in Florida. You get money, we get it (your point), we all get it (money) but I'm too humble of an individual to take it to the extremity that I've previously seen. The fuck? Should i start posting pay stubs... no no.. to really prove it, I'm gonna start posting receipts. Yeah that's what I'll do, I'll start posting my expenses, showing that them shits are all current. Maybe I'll make a t-shirt... fuck it.. an outfit with all my damn liabilities.. the fuck!? GET OVER YOURSELF! Notice I said expenses, not bills... do your research, there's a difference. Idiot.

What about the phony (spellcheck) people? I hate being paranoid, yet I can't help but believe there's always an evil motive to one's actions (& I'm SO MAD I can't think of the word for that) . People really can't be trusted. Baby, you don't have to befriend me JUST to find out if I'm ... :x ....This world would be way less confusing if everyone would just be themselves. I see right through you. Though I can't get mad that you're scared to be you, it's really not my problem, just go thataway with it. Don't come 'roun me. PLEASE! CYNICAL! That's the word, & I refuse to go back and retype the paragraph. I'm cynical. It's a strength & a weakness.

In conclusion, Summer, Fuck you. You really ain't THAT poppin'. Shit you ain't even my favorite season. Like others, I'm just forced to tolerate you. Just do me a favor... if I'm around for '09... step ya game up 6 notches. I'm telling you this, 'cause deep down inside.. I care for you, & I'm lookin' out for your best interest.

Sincerely,

E.

well well.

This really is my ish right now. Seriously. Anywho I have about 20 minutes to squeeze another post (mind you I'm at work) so this won't be a lengthy bramble.

Anywho, on a previous post http://www.socialedisturbed.com/2008/08/n.html#links I got some pretty in depth responses.

There is a good man in every male you've ever come across.

I believe that, just as I believe there's a low life in every male I've come across as well. I'm trying not to turn this post/blog into a male bashing tirade. It's just sometimes you get so fed up with people (not just dudes) and their bs. This post is NOT for any love birds. It's for the single hustlers such as myself. It gets annoying how you might open up to an individual (especially after ending a previous relationship), being open and honest just to end back up at square one.

Furthermore, if there's a good man in every male, why do they hide it so well? I have no kids & I damn sure ain't about to raise a grown ass man. NO I am NOT being specific about a situation, I'm speaking in general. JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, or probably a straight up troglodyte, but is it so hard just to be yourself? Is that asking for too much?

This is basically reason of my alias "socialedisturbed". A lot of people are complete imbeciles, and I can't stomach to be around stupid people. So I'll remove myself from the environment/situation/ relationship as soon as I can. Relationships being the hardest. Stupidity is like a damn airborne disease. But yea...I hate having to remind people (especially men) about sh*t they should already know, & I think that's another problem that I (as well as others) have encountered when dealing with the type of people we attract. Some guys like the women that depend on them, can't live with out them, women they can treat like doormats. It's sh*t they're used to. So when they come across someone who doesn't accept AS MUCH bs as the last and/or next one, I figure they're getting turned off and/or intimidated.

Ok.. I completely lost focus of the topic at hand..AND it's time for me to go... so.. until next time..

:)

back.

aowwww.

hey claques. I'm back, finally. I've come to the conclusion that I'm actually quite ok with going out once or twice a month. I actually have funds in my bank account due to the recent ... self evaluation. As previously posted I was laying low for a bit. Basically just trying to figure out what the hell it is I'm trying to get out of this life of mine. Unfortunately I haven't figured it out. After spending a few days with me, I realized...

• I have anger problems
• My spending habits are a bit excessive
• My saving habits need improvement
• I'm extremely lazy
• Milk no longer does my body good
• Red Lobster has THE best tartar sauce
• People are morons
• I truly am tripolar
• I often give respect when it isn't due
• I'm a pervert

I mean some of these things I kiiiiiinda already knew. But the last two weeks simply confirmed them. So what I plan on doing, is correcting my errors. Of course when I go through a mood swing to this extent.. I do something drastic. Aside from hammering my shoe rack (that was nailed) OFF my closet door, or breaking pieces of my mirror set.... I cut my hair... again.

Love, live life, proceed progress (for now)! Watch me do me.

comatose.

Me.
I'm comatose.
-lacking energy.
That's me. I'm honestly on the verge of doing something destructive. To what?, I don't know.
I feel the urge to run down the street with a horn of some sort screaming vulgarity.
But why?
Where the f*ck is that gonna leave me besides passed out somewhere out of breath from running.
I am grateful.
I been through too much to NOT appreciate where I am now.
I'm at an all time high AND low at the same time.
Sounds weird, but it's possible.
Honestly, I really do want to get into details, but it wouldn't be right doing so.
So on that note people, I'm signing off of blogger/myspace/facebook for a little bit.
No more hanging out/drinking. It's about time I calm my a*s down a bit and just figure out what the f*ck is going on?
I mean maybe occasionally I'll comment a page or something, but as for postings, I'm laying low for a bit.
THANKS FOR STOPPING BY!

sleep?

Is there a specific reason why I'm up at 1 something AM, knowing good & well I have to wake up in about 5 hours. So now I'm laying here on this blow-up mattress, typing away from the Sh*tberry, listening to "All I Need" by Xscape. This is my all-time favorite song from Traces of My Lipstick. I'm trying not to let my mind wander too much, but how can I not. I'm addicted to slow jams, my room is dark, it's raining, and... Well...C'MON, we're all adults here. Right?
LOL well have no fear, I promised not to type any pornographic blogs, also, "Independent" is now playing, so my whole vibe just changed. The base on this song is crazy. I wonder where the hell I'll be in five years from now. Like what the hell is my purpose. Though I'm still relatively young, I'd appreciate a clue of some sort. Sh*t."She got her own money, she don't need no help man...boosie".
Why are people so damn confusing? I have some kinda nerve typing that. (Gimme whatcha got -Chris Brown) Yes I'm typing the songs as they change. But back to the subject at hand. Why are people so damn confusing? Yes, I believe I can be considered... Complicated. But not confusing. I have methods behind my madness, but that rule obviously doesn't apply to all. Especially MEN! YEAH I SAID IT! MEN! You're idiots. All of you. I have yet to meet a man that wasn't an idiot. I still love you guys, but let's face it your a*sholes. My gma (Beautiful Nightmare- Beyonce) always said to me "Stupid boys grow to be stupid men" (y) <--those who have blackberry's should know what that symbolizes. Gma, you ain't neva lie! Hence the reason why, if God ever blesses me with a child, and it so happens to be a boy, my foot will remain in his neck/ass at all times! LOL, but I'm not kidding. Well morons, I think I'm actually getting tired, of typing that is. I guess I'll watch Frasier until he watches me. Signing off-Gnight :).